I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
