The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
