She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
