he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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