what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
