i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize