shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
