all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
