Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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