Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I could fuck to npr.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
