Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
