I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
