I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
