Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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