Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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