currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
