I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
