im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
this will be a night to untag.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
