im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
