we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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