Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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