I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
