In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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