We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
