So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
