I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
ttyl tear gas
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
