Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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