Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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