i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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