Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Don't EVER smell your tampon
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
