Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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