All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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