Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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