I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
