He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
