He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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