Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
