His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
