Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
