Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
