i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize