i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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