even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
