I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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