wakey wakey hands off snakey
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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