do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
she told me i tasted like america
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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