I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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