Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
