Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
