chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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