the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
