I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
and she was petting her beer can
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
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