Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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