Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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