I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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