Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
