I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
