So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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