I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
