you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize