dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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