so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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