we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
