I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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