i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
