Having a random hookup so left but love u
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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